The journey through
life we all take brings us into contact with many people and, if we
are honest, the vast majority we come across mean little or nothing
to us. However, every now and then we meet someone who in some way
becomes an important to us – either because of who they are or of
what they teach us: sometimes both.
This blog is a
celebration of one such: the late Sister Cara Mary of Tymawr Convent
near Monmouth.
When Marcia and I lived
in Avonwick some twenty years ago, another remarkable woman, Greta
Scott, lived not far from us. To be more accurate her home was there
but she spent most of her time at Tymawr where she had acted as
unpaid bursar ever since she had retired. Thus it was that Marcia
came to know about Tymawr and to decide that she would visit the
convent with a view to a week of silent retreat. I drove her up and
we were met by a small nun with spectacles and a rather curious
hearing system. She announced that she was Sister Cara Mary and was
to care for Marcia during her stay. On that occasion I was with Cara
for less than two minutes but that was enough to make a real impact
on me – and I must admit that I was far happier leaving Marcia in
her care than I had thought I would be.
Over the years, when
Marcia was spending a week at the convent every six months, she and
Cara became very close and one summer, to my delight, it was arranged
that Cara would spend one week of her summer holiday with us in
Avonwick. How many of us realised that some groups of nuns actually
take a summer holiday?
The weather was
wonderful and we had a wonderful time. We drove up to fetch Cara and
the first thing she did on arrival was to disappear and change out of
her habit into some casual clothes. ‘I have put that nun away in
the wardrobe,’ was the way she put it.
Cara was certainly as
deaf as I am and it could well be that this was an important factor
in our relationship. Not just deaf but determined to continue to
communicate with other people using whatever technology we could and
putting as much effort into understanding as was needed. Not
surprisingly we spent a good deal of time talking about the problems
the deaf face and the various ways of trying to deal with what is,
actually, a quite serious disability which can, depending on the
causes of the deafness, be rather painful.
Cara had an interesting
background. She had studied fine arts at The Courtlaud (alongside
Anita Brookner and Anthony Blunt: ‘Such a poor muddled man’
amongst others) and had spent much of the war working at Bletchly
Park before entering the Order and teaching.
Why was she so
important to me? I think it was because in her eyes the church was
totally inclusive. She would say things such as, ‘She’s a
Christian although, of course, she doesn’t know it’. Having said
that she was strict both with herself and others. If you agreed to do
something – she would expect you to do it. Thus, having taken her
vows she never gave a moments thought to turning her back on them
even when life in the convent was for her was very hard.
Sadly, on her third
holiday with us (this time at The Hermitage) she suffered a severe
stroke and it was not long before she died. We can, however, look
back at the five or six days she spent there with the certain
knowledge that she was very happy.
PS Had a PET scan
yesterday and expect further news next week.
